Being Fully Alive Blog: Gratitude

I feel like this season can be summarized by a constant choice between two things. Am I going to focus on what I love and have? Or am I going to focus on what I hate or don't have? I love the Tony Robbins quote about gratitude, and it is the subject of another one of my life hacks in this COVID world.

"The antidote to fear is gratitude. The antidote to anger is gratitude. You can't feel fear or anger while feeling gratitude at the same time." ~ Tony Robbins

This quote has been tried and true in my life. When I find myself beginning to dwindle into a downward spiral of despair, I know I need to be proactive instead of reactive. These are trying times. This is not a good time to be a victim of circumstance.

Let's get something straight... I may be writing about some of the wins in my life right now, but this isn't an easy time for me at all. My weeks are filled with the same isolation, loneliness, boredom, and frustration that is now a secondary pandemic around the globe. I don't have my life together, and I'm not going to write a blog telling you I've figured it out and that life is awesome. Instead, I want to share some of the tools I've picked up to shift into a mindset that allows me to live closer to the life I want to live despite the circumstances.

Shifting into a mindset of gratitude isn't some sort of magical demeanor that I was born with. I know a lot of people who seem to naturally reside in that kind of positive state. I am naturally more of the critical type. My various musicians/band-mates once told me in a confession that when we are on stage at a live show, if I make eye contact with them, they get nervous. When I asked why, they told me it's because instead of communicating the cool "I'm connecting with you" on stage, what I'm communicating is "you're playing something wrong!" We all had a good laugh about this. But it is telling in that part of my approach to perfect, is whittling away at the imperfections. Yes, that is a strength in some ways. When it comes to producing music, it means being unaccepting of anything that feels mediocre. I admittedly focus on the negative things to get rid of them. In the end, this is what can reveal the inspiring and beautiful. However, living my life focusing on the negative is not going to get me very far. This only perpetuates negative thinking and negative behavior. I need my day to be filled with something that empowers me, inspires me, gives me a reason to get up and work for the possibilities in life.

I often think of Anne and her family's experience in The Diary of Anne Frank. If you haven't read it in a while or at all, this seems like a good time to take it off the shelf. They spent years in hiding and isolation. But their "quarantine" as Jews hiding from the Nazis meant immediate life or death. I often compare my attitude to a 15-year-old girl who championed hope despite the direst of situations imaginable. My quarantine life is cake compared to hers. She's a hero.

Today, in spite of COVID impacting the entire world and forcing us into stricter lockdown and isolation, there is much to be grateful for. My family and I have been mostly quarantined since March. All of our public activities have been put to a stop. Our only reason to leave the house is an occasional hike or trip to the grocery store (which we can often avoid by using Instacart). Although it has taken some time to adjust to the new normal of being isolated, here are some things that have come out of this season:

Homeschooling the kids has been a blessing for our family

For years, we have thought about homeschooling our two boys, but we just didn't see how it would be possible with our work schedules. The pandemic urged us to pull the plug on public school and dive into the world of homeschooling. The kids have enjoyed it so much now that they say they don't want to go back to public school even if it was available! From a parent standpoint, one of the joys of homeschooling is being able to teach content that we think is important instead of what someone thinks is best. Or, for that matter, teaching in ways we feel are more engaging. No more monotonous worksheets from school! In fact, here’s an example of one of our recent science lessons on centripetal force… I hope it brings you a smile!

I've learned to enjoy being at home

Before the pandemic, weekends were my first opportunity to escape the home and I would fill up the weekend with activities. It was tough for me not to get out as much at first. But strangely now, I enjoy staying home more than I ever have. In fact, I look forward to weekends more than I have in the past.

I've learned to enjoy the presence of God more

When we started quarantining, I had a hard time digesting the fact that my relationship with God was becoming more isolated from any sort of community of faith. However, as time went on, I started realizing how much I enjoy those still moments with God in the morning. Moments where there is no agenda, nothing to "do." Just to sit there and enjoy the peace and comfort God brings. I've become more addicted to these mornings lately.

Our family has learned to enjoy each other more

Without as many options to have others in our daily interactions, I think we've come to appreciate what we have in our little family. And as we have learned to appreciate and treasure each other, I feel like we've become better friends, more patient, better at giving space when needed, better at being fun playmates, and better at loving.

These are just a few of the many things. I'm sure you can scan your own life in the last six months and dig up a decent list of some of the good things that have come out of this season, right? As we're approaching Thanksgiving, there is so much to be grateful for. Starting with the fact that we are alive!

May all of you give yourself much grace in trying times. And may you have the courage and strength to walk in gratitude today… blessings!!!

Eric Owyoung